If you had no children or grandchildren she would be entitled to the whole estate in the absence of a valid will. every time I remember this 3 time slap my hearts break so badly I’m love him this my weakness and forgive him. Keep his honor/ dignity: Don’t talk negative about your husband to your family, friends, or relatives. So basically women are expected to raise kids, look after the house, cook and clean and be expected to be in employment in order to help out the husband. What I think Islam is great at, is giving a general framework that works for most people, but also leaving enough flexibility for the outliers. Doesn’t sound like a responsible guy from your description. I have reluctantly agreed to pay 50%. She keeps giving away money to her family members they keep asking her for but never pay her back. Hi, I pay about 85% of our family costs and my husband pays 15% because he wants to use the rest of his money to help his brothers move overseas and to build a new family home abroad although in my opinion, there is nothing wrong with their current home. I am just worried that I will have to pick up the financial responsibility later down the road if we get married. Guest Posted on 10-05-2012 at 1.39PM . I have a question. I’m living in the Uk with my family and my husband don’t send me money if he send he will make me sad fight with me and I have one baby he didn’t send me money for my Eid dress He saying your living with your family they should give you money. In reality the practice (as opposed to theory) of marriage is this: “They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them” (Quran 2:187). She says she is fine with it but I am not we have a joint bank account when we keep our savings as a couple she has give away over half the money to her family sister, brother and in laws. His primary obligation is to you and your family though he may still have parental obligations depending on the situation. I can’t help but feel guilty too – as I feel like i’m freeloading off of them. More Legal Topics All States I think it’s great you have shed light on this topic as many people shy away from discussing financial responsibilities as if it’s shameful to talk about. 5. she will pay for it using the credit card (i.e. You are right to feel a bit hesitant to ask him as he is a student. I also have bad debt which i try to clear every month.. But before that i wanna know is it okay to get out ways apart? It may suit the couple’s situation very well, and religious preconceptions should not stigmatize it. Also whenever I plan on visiting my husband my parents start arguing with me they say I shouldn’t waste my money that I earn on going and visiting him when’s it’s my earnings as i would need to pay for my ticket and when I’m in Pakistan with him he pays the rent and for our food. He does earn more than me by about 5k. Feel like more of a partner, than a wife. What standard of living do my children/wife deserve? We fly all 3 several times to holiday as well i support her parents( to be clear with more as 3 salary of local high school teacher /year ) if her family beed money we borrow some and give ss well some . In this case it might be helpful for you to ask your husband to talk to an Islamic scholar you both respect and get his advice on the matter. You don’t solidify the Islamic ruling in its own right. You want to be the wife you know God would have you be to your husband, but he is not making this easy because he is not taking care of you and his family as he should –biblically, and otherwise. Besides, a married woman may take a loan not only from her husband but from anybody at all. It is jarring to see our children being put through this whilst we worry about who pays for it! The underlying contract laid bare is this: the husband has contracted with his wife (by giving her the dowry) for sexual exclusivity to him. And because of that i did not took anything from my in laws too. I was searching for financial privacy between husband and wife. Please enter your email address so we can send you a link to reset your password. That way you get legal advice on your situation as well. Is Zurich looking to take too much tax out of my investment fund? I also send some money to her parents too. I have two daughters too. He is your spouse after all – its okay to look out for him. I fee this will impact my marriage going forward. His mother who is divorced from his father but a second wife to another man (who does not financially support her) is reckless with her money, and uses a lot for haram things like lip fillers for example. But, beware, it must be a legal separation. Basically, I just don’t feel provided for? He has invested his money in stocks and lost all of it. Assalamualikum Brother, However the practical answer is, given you’ll be paying for the petrol or commute costs for everything else, it probably makes sense not to draw that distinction in such a linear way and the husband should just pay for it – unless the wife is happy to pay. Fiona Reddan: Do children need private health insurance? I’m afraid you’ve actually undermined the ruling by saying she “should” and you’ve potentially created a get out of jail free card for the Husband. For that we look to the Qur’an when it says: “Men are responsible for women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]. Should this be reflected in how much of the house she owns? Yet that was often not the case years ago when women were far more likely to give up work outside the home to care for family. We list out the role of a wife in a man’s life. Caught him alot of times. a pursuit through which she gets remunerated) she should pay for it. Lord Masuka the great spell caster brought my husband back to me after a hectic separation, whatsapp him for any help +1(234)-307-0752. Is it fard? With the transient nature of employment today, the situation of a house-husband and a working wife is not that uncommon. It is truly asphyxiating being married to a miser especially when one is used to a generous and happy lifestyle. But my father said he should have atleast have a monthly allowance for me to cater my needs and its a responsibility of the husband. I am currently successful in my job and my husband has grown to be very successful My wife gives me a blowjob every morning when I wake up to completion. From a purely technical perspective it makes sense for the ownership to link with the amount you contribute financially to that particular investment or property. Your email address will not be published. So i could not pay for my school fees or give money to her. What I found disappointing was that when you made the point where a Husband is solely responsible for his Wife financially even if the wife is wealthy – there is a Strong “but” followed with the wife “should” out of her kindness help him out if required. So in time i have my visa and able to get a job i like to help my family sending money in a reasonable amount but husband said why i have to? If the wife is a stay-at-home wife, then I would suggest that a shared bank account (into which you pay your salary) would practically make the most sense as that is the common pot from which you will both spend. The best gift a wife can give her husband is to love Jesus! If you are in a partnership like a marriage, this means sharing so whomever makes the most money should be willing to pay the bigger share of expenses. In more recent years it is more likely that a woman would have her own financial resources, and so be less dependent on a spouse. But the husband should understand the virtue of being generous towards his dependents, and treating his family kindly, and should understand that whatever he spends on his wife, he will be rewarded for it, for giving gifts increases love. Please advise. Thanks In advance, i got engaged around 8 months ago ( kateb ktab) which basically means he is my husband. That’s an important consideration. Under Islam, a woman has equal rights to earn, own, spend and otherwise dispose of her property as she wishes, without interference by any male relative, be he a father, husband or guardian. … She has some advice, if it takes a long time, as in more than ten minutes, your girl could probably be better at it, or you have been … Given the focus of these questions, in this article we focus in on the husband-wife relationship. salaam Moemen – so your key concern here is that women must look after the children themselves? I am currently pregnant and have been ill through this pregnancy. After God placed the first man, Adam, in the garden of Eden, he declared, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18). My husband was not happy and so I co tried working shortly after paid maternity leave. Asked on 3/29/2012 under: Divorce, Marriage, Alimony New York. or people complaining of financial problems in marriage more generally. Or if x pays 70% of the deposit, but then only contributes 50% of the ongoing mortgage payment, you can tot up the eventual total each person will have paid and split the house accordingly. There are exceptions in each group. This is importnat when it comes to inheritance but also in case you get divorced. Work Together Communicate about your styles of financial management as soon as possible to figure out what money management style might work for your marriage. My wife’s share was around 60 percent, so as you just mentioned, to give her sense of security, I have made her soul owner of the house, but in this case what complications could arise later on? My husband is few you gets younger than I and we have 2 kids together. Arguments for the latter are, that the nikah contract is in relation to sexual exclusivity – not childcare. 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